I am going to try a cliff hanger here with this post, to see if anyone is reading and cares about my mishaps with birds. The best story is for later after you've read through all my horrors, one post at a time. Here's a story that happend back in February, but I figure it's still a good one, why not share? I guess I should start by giving you more background with my history of birds. Those who know me know I hate em' and have too many of bad stories involving the molting things. Let's rewind to my childhood until now.
1. One goose-a layin
The first story happened when I was seven. I was tagging along with Andrew and Ashley sneaking into a pond by our old house in Roseville CA by Johnson Ranch. If you can imagine the saint Andrew was to let the pot bellied-hand me down shirt not long enough to fit such a tall baby fat sporting bumbling little girl. I loved an adventure, and Andrew was just the man to follow for that.. still is. So we have our fishing poles, and after a lot of Andrew saying "Come on... hurrry up" we finally got to the sneakster part... crawling under the iron fence and squeezing through to get to the good stuff, the fishin' pond. I am sure he had to pull my arms to help me get under all while Macgiver tactics ran through his head in the chance he was caught helping the chubby runt.
Andrew finally helped me through and goes his way to get ALL the fish in that pond, and maybe a few crawdads. There I was shuffling around trying to mind my business, and explore in a nonchalant way, when a huge white goose spotted me. There was no return from there, he was across the pond even, but apparently I surpassed the maximum capacity for children sauntering around because that thing came a' chargin'. It was like slow motion, I started to run, and Andrew smelled a shift in the dust in the air like a cat, and ran to help, but no, no one could have helped the little girl who was bludgeoned in the head by a large marge angry goose. He was vicious, immediate and he clean knocked me off my feet before he retreated.
Lesson from this story, never leave your children alone with a goose, like all those idiots on America's Funniest Home Videos. Shame, Shame, Shame. Nix will never suffer that misfortune while I am around!
